Paul Hogan (Transcript)

Robby Incmikoski:
All I want to ask you about first is PNC Park. What do you remember—when was the first time you walked in there, and what was your first reaction?

Paul Hogan:
I walked into it to do fire inspections when it was just a metal frame. If you're from Pittsburgh, you were so happy, because we were still in the days of the cookie-cutter stadiums. You, being from Philadelphia, would know that from the Vet—an absolute dump with dumping grounds for people like... well, Pittsburgh had Three Rivers. Another dump.
So it was just so great to get a new stadium. I believe that was in '01. I was a fireman for 23 years in Pittsburgh, but I never stopped bartending. I bartended across the street from the stadiums the whole time, but I was also a fireman. So we went over and inspected that place, and it was kind of a big nothing at the time.
But then when it was built—I wandered in... Robby, it was ‘02.

Robby Incmikoski:
PNC Park opened April '01.

Paul Hogan:
So '01. I was a young fireman—I only came on in '99. The first real time I was there, they needed people—and I’m sure you guys have all seen this—when stadiums do the massive flag unfurling. If it’s a football stadium, it’ll cover the whole field. They did that in PNC Park for Opening Day, and what they wanted was public safety people.
So, of course, I signed up for that. I wanted to stand on the outfield grass for the first game ever.

Paul Hogan:
Quick story on that—how that works is, you go in early and help build the whole thing. So really, they’re using you for free labor. Then they kick you out. You don’t even get a ticket. Anyway, we’re there building this thing, and then there’s maybe 40 guys on each side. It looks like a long tube. You stand it up, and then everybody walks backward and it opens.
They tell you, “If you trip and fall—tough s***. You’re going to be under that flag for the whole national anthem.”
And that’s exactly what happened. Some fireman brought his daughter, and she fell on her ass on the first step. So he had a choice to make—he’s right next to me—because you’re running with it on cue. He did what any good dad would do: he let go and dove under there.
True story—on the first day of PNC Park, some guy and his daughter spent the national anthem underneath that flag. She was crying her little eyes out. We folded it back up, stood up, and ran out of there.
That’s a true story.

Robby Incmikoski:
I never knew that.

Paul Hogan:
Yeah, I don’t think I ever told you that one, Robby.

Robby Incmikoski:
So as a fan—what about going into it for the first time?

Paul Hogan:
It was magical. I mean, it was everything I wanted. I was pulling grass out of the ground—I wanted to keep some grass and dirt from that day. I still have the dirt. I don’t know where the grass is, but like I said before, they don’t even give you a ticket. You walk out the right-field service entrance, and they kick you out.
But we already had tickets, so we went back in and got to see the stadium from home plate. You see the seating area, the North Side Notch in left-center, and then the Clemente Wall.
Kyle—I don’t know if you know this—but the Clemente Wall at PNC Park is exactly 21 feet high because Roberto Clemente wore number 21 and played right field.
So you’ve got all these cool things. The baseball diamond is just beautiful. But then what hits you is the skyline and the bridge. It was just so perfectly designed—you have the Clemente Bridge overlooking left-center field, then the PNC skyline, and all the riverboats in the back.
It really is what I can only describe as a religious experience. If you’re a lover of baseball, like I am...

Paul Hogan:
I wish I could walk through that door for the first time again and again and again.

Robby Incmikoski:
First of all—that’s amazing. And I’m not even joking, that’s exactly why we talk to fans. You love the game. You love the Pirates.

Paul Hogan:
Yeah.

Robby Incmikoski:
How much life did PNC Park breathe into the city, just in terms of how majestic it is?

Paul Hogan:
You’ve got to know how absolutely terrible Three Rivers Stadium was. I mean, it was sports played on porch carpet. It really was. If you’ve ever walked on those old turfs, it was like they put porch carpeting over a four-lane highway.
There was nothing cool about it, and nobody really wanted to go.
Then they build this beautiful stadium, and it meant everything. It probably rejuvenated that entire area. There was nothing to do at Three Rivers. You just went home.
Same with Citi Field in New York—there’s nothing to do but go home, or go enjoy the chop shops outside the stadium.

Paul Hogan:
But PNC Park—it’s beautiful. It’s a whole entertainment district. Everybody loves it. So it didn’t just save that area—it saved a big part of Pittsburgh.
Now you have all those restaurants, the casino right next to it... yeah.

Robby Incmikoski:
All right—Paul, Chase Field in Arizona. One note: your college roommate, Kyle, was Chad Shifrin, who worked for the Diamondbacks. You guys went to Robert Morris together?

Paul Hogan:
Yeah, we lived together at Robert Morris.

Robby Incmikoski:
Tell me about Chase Field.

Paul Hogan:
Chad Shifrin was a great friend of mine. I don’t know if you guys know this, but Chad has an adult form of muscular dystrophy—I don’t know the name of it. He was a sports management major in college, and he always said, “This disease isn’t going to kill me, but I’m going to use it and make it to the top.”
And damn if he didn’t. He’s been with the Diamondbacks for years now. He checks off a box every season.

Robby Incmikoski:
He’s not here to defend himself.

Paul Hogan:
I’ve told him that story a million times.

Robby Incmikoski:
All right.

Paul Hogan:
So once I called him up and said, “How do we rent that pool?” He said, “Paul, it’s pretty expensive.” At the time, it was $6,000 just to rent the pool. That didn’t get you anything—just access to the pool.
Then he called me back and said, “I can get it for you for $5,500.” I said, “I can get a bunch of guys,” so that’s what we did.
We went down and rented the pool—just 12 of us. That was the first time. And we were smart about it—we knew we were going to throw a good party. So we bought baseballs at the gift shop and gave them to the kids standing outside the pool area. We knew we’d be a little rowdy, so we buttered up the fence crowd first.

Paul Hogan:
The pool was unbelievable. Worth every cent. We decided we’d do cannonballs every time the Pirates hit a home run. Then we realized the Pirates don’t hit many home runs, so we switched it to every RBI.
They ended up scoring five or six runs that game.
Then, out of the blue, Robby shows up—he was still new with the Pirates at the time—and he does an interview from the pool with us.
Then somebody from MLB Network came down and interviewed me. I was a solid three sheets to the wind. Robby didn’t interview me, but the MLB Network girl did—and that one went pretty viral.

Paul Hogan:
After that, the Diamondbacks won, and they put out an internal email that Chad sent me. It said: “Now that’s how you throw a party.”
So they got ahold of me and said, “Would you like to come back next year?”
I said, “Absolutely.”
I put together 35 people. Not joking—32 actually showed up.
We did it again. Cannonballs. This time Chad gave me 10 baseballs to hand out. Same deal—we buttered up the fans around us by giving away baseballs.
We were raising the Jolly Roger, chanting, f-bombing with joy—the Pirates scored nine, maybe ten runs. Could’ve been eleven.

Paul Hogan:
They warned us. They said, “Normally it’s corporate groups that rent the pool. Their alcohol tab averages $350.”
We hit $2,500 in the fifth inning. That’s the truth.
We were throwing this amazing party. We had pre-tipped the bartender $500, so we had an ally.
Then, around the sixth inning, they sent the sheriffs down. And we’re like, “We haven’t even done anything yet.” We were just having fun.
Everybody was in the pool. This wasn’t people dipping their feet—everyone brought swim trunks. Your jeweler was in the pool. There was a good mix of men and women—equal numbers.

Paul Hogan:
So Robby comes and gives us an interview.
And here’s probably the part that won’t make the book...
There are people all around, and Robby’s actually interviewing me this time. I’m still three sheets to the wind, but I’ve pulled it together.
Mid-interview, Robby’s earpiece goes off, and someone from the truck says, “Robby, the girl behind Paul—can you get her to put her tits back in her shirt?”
And it was true—she never did. Three-quarters out the whole time—accidentally.

Robby Incmikoski:
In a bikini. This was Rebecca.

Paul Hogan:
In a bikini.

Robby Incmikoski:
Our good friend—the dentist’s girlfriend—is who he’s referring to. And it’s absolutely true.

Paul Hogan:
So Robby interviews me anyway, and I’m out of body at this point—but I don’t miss a beat.
I start thanking local businesses. “Shout out to Diio Automotive, McFadden’s, Pittsburgh Odds Return...”
All these companies owned by guys who were there with us. I didn’t know at the time that you’re not supposed to plug companies during a broadcast, since they’re not paying for it.
But it made the interview.

Paul Hogan:
Then MLB Network comes back and does another interview. At this point, they’re cutting in and out of innings with shots of us.
Everyone’s phones are blowing up.
The Pirates scored more runs in the seventh and eighth innings—we’re going hard with the cannonballs. Everybody’s got a nice glaze going.
Then they stop the game.

Paul Hogan:
The sheriffs come down and say, “You all have to leave—right now.”
And we’re looking at the warning track—it’s five feet from the pool. You can lean on the fence with your beer. Nobody spilled anything, but now there’s a giant puddle. A small lake.
They said, “You guys are jumping in the pool and splashing water everywhere.”
I said, “That’s 10 feet from the pool. No way water is splashing that far.”
Then another guy says, “Paul, it’s splashing out of the pool into the stadium drains and ending up on the warning track.”
And I go, “That’s an engineering problem. That has nothing to do with us.”
And they agreed. They didn’t kick us out. They just paused the game and had to clean it up.

Paul Hogan:
When the game was over, two things happened.
One: we got a standing ovation from everyone at Chase Field. I couldn’t believe it. We were walking out of there like we had just come home from World War II.
Two: we were banned for life.
We are banned for life from the Chase Field pool.

Paul Hogan:
Ironically, Chad called me this year and said, “The guy who banned you just got fired. You can come back if you want.”
But of course, it’s all pink now—ten years later...

Robby Incmikoski:
Tell me about the email you got next year. Remember?

Paul Hogan:
That was it. They invited us back, but said we could only sit in a private box next to the dugout—but only when the Pirates weren’t playing.

Robby Incmikoski:
That’s...

Paul Hogan:
Yeah. I said, “You think I’m going to get people to spend $30,000 to come watch the Diamondbacks play a team not called the Pirates?”
We refused.

Robby Incmikoski:
I found your reply. You said, “You think we’re going to spend all that money to travel cross-country and go see the Cubs?”
And back then the Cubs sucked—it was 2014, before they got good in 2015.

Paul Hogan:
But I’ll say this—Chase Field is a beautiful ballpark. So is Phoenix and Scottsdale.
I assume you’ve both been there. What a great nightlife.
I didn’t think I’d ever like an indoor ballpark—I didn’t like Miami, didn’t love Milwaukee.
Dallas was nice—big brother version of Milwaukee’s stadium.
I’ve never been to Tampa, but I have no desire. That stadium doesn’t do it for me.

Paul Hogan:
But I really enjoyed Chase Field. Everything about it. I can’t wait to go back.

Robby Incmikoski:
Yeah—he’s allowed back as a regular fan, just not in the pool.
But everything he said, Kyle, is true—getting uninvited, the standing ovation in right-center...

Paul Hogan:
Yeah.

Robby Incmikoski:
It’s a pretty good story. I don’t think anyone else can really tell that one, which is why I wanted him to share it.

Paul Hogan:
The standing ovation was really great.

Kyle Fager:
It’s an incredible story.

Paul Hogan:
It was great. I have fond memories of Chase Field.
I’d go back in a second.
And Robby—I don’t feel like I even said everything I should’ve about how amazing PNC Park is.

Paul Hogan:
It’s not just number one on everyone’s baseball stadium list—it’s number one on stadium lists period, regardless of sport.
I’ve been to a lot.
San Francisco is beautiful, but when you sit in the seats, you can’t even see the bay. You don’t know it’s there.
Only two stadiums gave me chills: Fenway—an amazing moment. And Wrigley.
But PNC? I used the term “religious experience”—and that’s a goddamn fact.

Robby Incmikoski:
Yep. That’s great. Kyle—you got anything for him?

Kyle Fager:
No. That was all perfect. Great story.

Robby Incmikoski:
There are few stories better than this. I promise, when this comes out in the written version, you’re going to laugh. I promise.

Paul Hogan:
Okay. I got a million more someday.